Warriors: TRUTH OR DARE
by MyMusesSpeakToMe
Summary: Play the game. Spread some pain! Muses studios is proud to bring to a W'n'M production of a new spin on truth or dare! So send in your dares or truths! Why? Because THIS. IS. SPARTAAAAAAA!
1. Chapter 1

In the dark theatre, only a long stage draped in red curtains is visible. The faint mutter of voices from behind the curtains is barely audible. An intellectual conversation perphaps? A plan, or even scheme, of what is to occur when those curtains rise?

"I STILL can't believe we have to SHARE dressing rooms! Muses is so cheap!" Came one harsh female voice,

"Relax, we'll still have room for the hot tub! Hey, did you get your muffin basket? All my muffins were round and colorful. They didn't taste like muffins…" Came the second voice

"That was a FRUIT basket, mouse-brain. Don't we start here soon?"

"Whats the rush? Muses is only doing this to avoid a mental breakdown."

"Just as well, lets just get this show on the road."

"YUS! Let's get it started, ha! Let's get it started IN HERE!"

"… Yes, very. SPIKETAIL! RAISE THE CURTAINS!"

XxXxX

Two cats, one black and one white, walk onto the stage. The black cat takes center stage. A microphone decends from the ceiling.

The black begins "Coughcough, mumble mumble, AH-hem. WEEEEEEEELCOME, my precioses, to a Wn'M studios production of TRUTH. OR. DARE."

Canned applause echoes around the room**  
**

The white she-cat pushes the black one off the stage. "You all know how this shtick goes. I'm Moonheart, I'll handle Truths. My cohort, Wildfur-"

The black cat, presumably Wildfur, snickers. "hehe. 'cohort'..."

Moonheart continues "-Wildfur will be incharge of dares. Our living mussle, Spiketail will be responsible for getting supplies, plus anything else we need… Hey, where'd Spiketail go?"

BACKSTAGE:

Spiketail, a dark red tom, is asleep with a 'Deadpool' Comic covering his face. Snores vibrate the pages.

"Well, anywho. For our own fragmented sanity, as well as your own, we'll set up a few base rules." Says Moonheart

Wildfur leaps back onto the stage "UN! This is rated T! T, I SAY!"

"Awww!" Says Hawkfrost, who is in the audience for some reason.

"We can still talk about sex if we're not descriptive. And kits are okay too, but we can't be creepy perverts and watch them." the black she-cat clarifies

"Yay!"

"Shut up, Hawkeh."

"DEUX! We here at W'n'M Studios, sponsered by Muses Studios, are respectful of all peoples. That means we're going to avoid religion jokes, or endless gay jokes. He might do one once in a while "for the lulz", but lets keep a level head." Moonheart continues.

"NON-PHOBIA PRIDE!" Wildheart says, saluting.

"…yes."

Wildheart picks up again "TROIS! We can't use alchohol in our dares. Apperantly, it kills cats. Feel free to suggest heavy amounts of catnip."

"Other than that we've covered everything." Moonheart pulls out a list from an invisble pocket, "Spin the bottle,"

"CHECK!" Wildfur approves

"Secret spill!"

"CHECK!"

"Fear factors!"

"CHECK!"

"Date bribes!"

"CHECK!"

"Karaoke challenge!"

"CHECK!"

"Jello-Wrestling Battle to the Death… wait, what?"

Wildfur taps a giant tub of green wiggly jello "Check-aroo!

"…I'm not even gonna ask. Well, send those dares in! It's not like we'll be doing anything interesting." Moonheart says, waving, before being pushed offstage by Wildfur

"Yeah. Bugger off, ya' muppets!"


	2. Chapter 2

In Wildfur and Moonheart's dressing room:

Wildfur lounges in her hot tub. "Nnnnngh, do we have anything yet?" She moans.

"Be paitent! Its only been 2 days!" Moonheart snaps, engrossed in rereading "Fading Echoes".

"I'm impaitent. Make stuff happen." The black she-cat whines

Moonheart growls, "Do it yourself."

"THAT'S IT! Moonheeeeeeeart~ you're a genuis!" Wildfur leaps out of the hot tub,

"Tell me something I don't know."

"Lets get started!" Wildfur grabs Moonheart's tail,

"You do tha-OOF!"

"LETS GO!"

XxXxXxX

The theater is now full to the brim with cats of assorted clans and loners. A dark ginger tom stands at the stage.

"Okay, everyone settle down, I SAID SETTLE DOWN! We'll start in a sec, um, I think…" Spiketail looks eager to get off stage

Wildfur bounces on to the stage, dragging Moonheart behind her, "Thank vous for waiting oh so patiently! Lets begin!"

"Wildfur! We don't ha-" Moonheart realizes that they are on stage, and whispers "We don't have any dares!"

"And last night I had no insurance. We move on. First things first-"

"Wait! What about last night?"

Wildfur, still ignoring Moonheart, continues "Lionblaze, Cinderheart! Get on up here!" Wildfur's eyes flash, and the two cats appear onstage.

Lionblaze looks around, **"**Eh? Am I on another one of those stupid truth or dare things?"

"Here we go again." Cinderheart rolls her eyes

"SHUT UP! Lionblaze, go to secret room number one and score with this she-cat." Wildfur says,

"Yay! … I mean whatever, since I have respect for women!" Lionblaze said, since he did.

"Kay, lets get this over with!" Cinderheart says and disappears into Secret Room 1 with Lionblaze.

"Great. What are we going to do when they come back with kits? We can't send them back with them! It'll cause a paradox!" Moonheart hisses

"A whaaaaat?"

"It'll make everything explode!"

Wildfur eyes widen "Cool!"

"No! Not cool! There won't be any more Warriors books!" Wildheart's face falls.

"Oh. Well, I guess we'll just have to adopt all the kits!"

"We most certainly will NOT!" Moonheart yowls. She wasn't sure if her contract covered kits.

"Just think!" Wildfur coaxed, forgetting the Moonheart usually does the thinking, "If we get all of the strongest cats to mate we can build and army of super kitties!"

" … Fair enough. We'll adopt."

Cinderheart and Lionblaze return from Secret Room 1. Cinderpelt looks calm, but Lionblaze is blushing heavily and has fluffed up fur.

"Hope you two had fun here! Let's see the first little genetic masterpiece- I mean kit." Wildfur said brightly,

Cinderpelt holds up light gray tabby tom, "This is Rainkit."

Rainkit paws air and mews.

"Awww! Cute!" Moonheart coos.

Wildfur nods, "He shall make a fine general."

Lionblaze's ears perk up, "What?"

"Nothing…"

Moonheart turns back to the audience, "Well, I think that's it for today!"

Wildfur meows "Yep. Bugger off! But before you do... " she holds up Rainkit, "Read, review, and dare! Do it for the kitten!"


	3. Chapter 3

The author typed furiously. The chapter was nearing an end! All she would need was to close things up here, maybe a special not there, and all would be we-

Suddenly, everything stopped. The screen that had just a second ago been filled with words was now blank. A silence enveloped the room.

The silence was broken.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

XxXxX

In the dressing room, there was peace. Moonheart read a magazine quietly, while Spiketail lounged in Wildfur's hot tub.

"…Wildfur's been gone a while, hasn't she." Moonheart noted, dully flipping a page.

"You worried?" Spiketail asked,

"Not really. It's just that when she's gone for this long she usually does something stu-"

Moonheart was cut off when Wildfur burst into the room, holding an envelope and covered in brown sticky liquid.

"WE HAVE DARES!" She announced.

"Um, Wild?" Spiketail said, but Moonheart's eyes widened,

"You mean actual dares, like, from PEOPLE!"

"YUS!"

"That's awe- What are you covered in, Wildfur?"

"Maple Syrup!" Wildfur said proudly

"Why does she sound happy about that?" Spiketail whispered, Moonheart just rolled her eyes,

"Just get cleaned up so we can start!"

XxXxX

The duo bounced on to the stage.

"ITS BEGINS!" Moonheart announced.

Wildfur whipped on a sombrero and maracas. "FIESTA~"

"So let's get started with that dares here, okay Wildfur. Wildfur?"

Wildfur was still dancing, "AYE AYE AYE AYE!"

"WILDFUR!"

"Wha?"

"Finally. Your dares, madam." Moonheart said, ceremoniously handing the envelope.

"Thank you, old chap." Wildfur said in a horrible fake British accent, "Well, lets see what on the agenda!"

Dare #1: Heavystep must have kits with Tigerstar, who has been changed into a

girl.

"Bizarre, but okay!" Wildfur's eyes flashed and Tigerstar was summoned to the stage.

"Oh no! Not more of you fangirls!" He snarled,

"NO! We're just here to torture you!"

"Oh, well that's better than fangirls."

Wildfur's eyes flashed again.

"Did it work?" Moonheart asked,

"Whats have you done to me? I now see how improbably all my plans for indirectly killing my enemies were!" Tigerstar, now female, screamed in horror.

"Now for part two!" Wildfur grinned and flashed her eyes again, this time bringing Heavystep to the stage.

"Wha? Where am I-" he stopped when he saw Tigerstar, "Well, Hell-O." He winked suggestively.

"STAY AWAY FROM ME!" Tigerstar hissed, running away. Heavystep chased (her) straight into Secret Room Number 1.

"… that was fun!" Wildfur smiled.

"… That was weird." Moonheart said,

"But fun!"

Dare #2: Rainkit must grow up FAST and have kits with either Nightcloud or

Scourge, depending on whether Rainkit is a boy or a girl. You didn't really

specify.

"But wait. We DID specify Rainkit as a tom! You even refered to him as a male." Moonheart pointed out.

"Yeah, but I don't want him to mate NIGHTCLOUD!" Wildfur made a face, "From now on, Rainkit is a she-cat."

Spiketail escorted Rainkit to the center stage. The little kitten yawned and licked her paws.

"She's so cute!" Moonheart exclaimed,

"Yup. And now I'll be able to try out my NEWEST INVENTION!" And with that Wildfur rushed off stage, returning with a rectangular object, "This is the Universal Remote." She explained.

"I think I saw one of those at Walmart."

"This is a SPECIAL remote." Wildfur retorted, "Using it, I can warp time and turn on my DVD player from over ten feet away. Now," She got a very serious look on her face, "Lets do this thing!"

Wildfur pointed the remote at Rainkit and presses fast forward. Where Rainkit once stood was a beautiful gray tabby she-cat.

"Huh? Where am I? Who are you?" Rainkit asked,

"We're your adopted parents." Moonheart explained, "And I think its time you got a warrior name."

"OOH OOH OOH! I WANNA DO IT!" Wildfur shouted jumping up and down

"THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID!" Spiketail shouted from off stage,

"SHUT UP, SPIKEH!"

Moonheart flicked her ears irritably, " Wildfur, you don't have a clan!"

"I do. I declare my clan to be EPICCLAN!" the black she-cat turned to Rainkit, "My the powers invested in me by Starclan, You shall from this day forth be known as Rainpool."

"Sweet!" Newly named Rainpool said,

"Now for part two!" Wildfur flashed her eyes again, and Scourge was brought forth to the stage. Rainpool's eyes widened.

"H-hey!" She said, "You're evil. Are you going to kill me?"

"Are you kidding?" Scourge asked him a high pitched voice, "I haven't been laid in like, forever!" And with that the two cats walked into Secret Room Number 2.

"…You know what this means." Moonhesrt said,

"Yup." Relied Wildfur.

"WE GET TO BE THE FOSTER GRANDPARENTS OF SCOURGE'S KITS!" The two shouted, squeeing.

"Alright, that's done." Moonheart said, calming herself down, "Hey, look! There's a truth! Finally, something I can do!" Moonheart's eye's glimmered, and Lionblaze was brought to the stage for the second time.

'Huh, oh hey." He said calmly, "Whats up?"

Wildfur blinked, "You're not scared or anything?"

"Nope. Who do I get to do this time?"

"No one!" Moonheart hissed, "Now Lionblaze, how many times have you mated, and with whom?"

"Um, well…" Lionblaze flushed and looked down,

"WHO?"

"Just that one time with Cinderpelt here…."

"ARE YOU KIDDING?" Wildfur interupted, "BY THE TIME LEAFPOOL AND CROWFEATHER WERE YOUR AGE THEY WERE ALREADY HUMPING EACHOTHER ON THE CLAN BORDER!"

"She's right." Moonheart pointed out, "Silly virgin Lionblaze." Her eyes glimmered again and Lionblaze was gone.

"Okay, that's it for the truths and dares, let's meet the kits!" Wildfur announced.

Since Tingerstar and Heavystep already left, Moonheart held up a dark brown tabby tom with amber eyes, "This is Sharpkit." Sharpkit snored in Moonheart's paws.

Rainpool came out with a little black tom with blue eyes, "This is Ravenkit." Ravenkit squirmed and flicked his ears.

"Day 2, the army is growing well…" Wildfur said into a tape recorder.

Moonheart took out a notebook, "So let's look at the kits we have so far. Rainpool, Sharpkit, and Ravenkit."

"Well I think that sums it up!" Wildfur said brightly, "Bugger off! But before you do…"

Wildfur pressed a button and lights lit up behind them saying: _**READ. REVIEW. DARE!" **_


	4. Chapter 4

"And then the giant snake was like 'OM NOM NOM! I SHALL BITE YEWWWW!', and Harry was like 'O NOES!' and went all '_PEW PEW PEW'_ with his wand and the snake was all-"

Moonheart pressed her paw into Wildheart's face, "That's great Wildfur, maybe we should get started on those dares."

Wildfur made a pouty face, "But that'll require effoooooort."

"Co-ome on." Moonheart said, grabbing Wildfur by the tail and hauling her out of the dressing room.

XxXxX

"Welcome back, she-cats and toms!" Moonheart greeted the audience cheerfully, "Moving right along. Wildfur, what's the agenda?"

Wildfur took an envelope and opened it, reading

"Firestar has to FISH! WITH NO HELP! AND HE HAS TO FISH FOR A WEEK AND ONLY EAT the FISH THAT HE CAUGHT FOR THAT WEEK!"

Wildfur nodded. "It shall be so." With that, her eyes flashed, bringing the Thunderclan leader to the stage.

"Greetings." He said,

"How come no one's scared of us?" Wildfur whined to Moonheart,

"Well, I'm guessing that since Firestar has retired to a minor character, he is aware that his purpose in the series gives him a lesser risk at being singled out. Since he really doesn't do that much now, anyway." Moonheart explained,

"Yeah," Wildfur said, inspecting Firestar, "Aren't you _old_?"

Firestar bristled and glared at her, but said nothing. Wildfur showed him his dare.

"No problem!" Firestar said confidently, "I'm the freaking' Firestar! I can do anything!"

ONE WEEK LATER

"So… hungry… and… wet…" Firestar panted. He might have been hungry. It was hard to tell.

"NOW FOR NUMBER DEUX!" Wildfur said, handing an envelope to Moonheart.

Moonheart's eyes glimmered and Leafpool was summoned.

"Okay, Leafpool. How many crushes have you had?"

"Well, its not much of a secret I was into Crowfeather, then there was that time I met that guy at a bar- DID I SAY BAR? I MEANT, UM… I HAVE IMPORTANT MEDICIENE CAT STUFF TO DO!"

"Okay, my turn again." Wildfur said, taking another envelope.

"Jayfeather to tell Willowshine that she looks fat... and that he knows a good medicine cat that can help."

Wildfur's eyes flashed and Jayfeather and Willowshine appeared at the stage. Wildfur whispered the dare to Jayfeather, who nodded. The emo cat went up to Willowshine.

"Hey, Willowshine. No offence, but you look like you've gained a few. I know a great medicine cat who can help with that.

Willowshine's eyes lit up and she bitch-slapped Jayfeather with enough force to knock out a badger.

"Wait…" Said Wildfur, "He's blind, so he can't really SEE if she's fat, so… how does that work?" Moonheart shrugged.

"NEXT DARE!" Wildfur declared, taking the next envelope.

"Sharpkit grows up fast and has kits with Rowanclaw who has been turned back into a shecat. Tawnypelt has to be the mentor."

"You guys really want to see these kits grow up, don't you." Wildfur said, then her eyes flashed, bringing Sharkit to the stage. The brown tabby pounced on Wildfur's tail. The black she-cat was about to scold him when Moonheart batted her ears. Apperantly Moonheart was growing more fond of the kits.

Wildfur took out her Universal Remote, "Now, we have to make him old enough to have kits, but young enough so that he still needs a mentor. So, late apprenticeship?"

The remote was fired, and Sharpkit was now a large muscular apprentice.

Sharppaw blinked, "Weird…" He said.

"By the power invested in me by Starclan I name you Sharppaw." Wildfur rushed, "Now we must destroy your innocence."

Wildfur's eyes flashed again and Rowanclaw was brought to the stage, now a she-cat.

"Bur she's **old**!" Sharppaw whined, "And a tom!"

"Don't care." Wildfur pushed the two into Secret Room Number 1.

A few hours later Sharppaw came back out. He looked throrougly spooked. Rowanclaw was no where to be found. Tanwypelt was now at the stage, too. She glared at the apprentice.

"Let's do a training exercise. Its called 'Get your apprentice who slept with your mate eaten by a fox'." She hissed. Sharppaw gulped and was pushed off the stage after his new mentor.

"… poor kid." Moonheart said,

"ANOTHER DARE! Announced Wildfur, "Make Ashfur sleep on Elm Street."

…

"Did you see that movie?"

"No. Did you?"

"No." Wildheart turned to the audience, "For secret purposes, we're just gonna pit him against a pikachu." Her eyes flashed again, and an arena appeared on stage. Spiketail was in the middle in a referee outfit.

"Iiiiin thiiis corner!" Spiketail announced, "We have the amazing Pikachu!" The crowd went wild.

"And in the other corner; the bitterist dumped boyfriend alive, ASHFUR!"

You could hear a needle drop.

"OH COME ON-!" said the gray dead warrior before being electrocuted.

"NEXT!" Wildfur shouted, "Make Tigerstar eat 100000000000 pounds of jello in 5 minutes or he has to battle a rampaging shark!"

"This'll be fun." Grinned Moonheart. Wildfur's eyes flashed, and Tigerstart appeared. Wildfur repeated the dare.

"No problem." Tigerstar announced, "I am TIGERSTAR! THE MOST AMAZING LEADER EVAR!" And with that he began to eat.

"He's doing it!" Moonheart gasped,

"I've never seen one cat eat so much jello." Wildfur observed.

FOUR SECONDS LATER:

"I can't believe it!" Wildfur's jaw dropped,

"Only one more bite in one second!"

Tigerstar lifted the last bite to his mouth, but just before he could bite it the alarm went off.

"Oooh, tough luck, Tiggy!" Wildfur said,

"WHAT? So I ate 99999999999.99 pounds of jello for NOTHING?"

"Guess so. RELEASE THE SHARK!"

And then Delilah the Shark appeared on the stage and chased Tigerstar away. Oh, good times!

Wildfur took the next dare. "Ooh! This is a fun one! Nightcloud (because she is a icky and horrible she-cat) has to be stuck in a room with Crowfeather, Lionblaze, Heavystep, Loudbelly, Tigerstar, Scourge, Ravenpaw, and one of my OC's, Striketail. And oh, they are all on love potion. A BIG dose."

"Do love potions even exist?" Moonheart asked, Wildfur rolled her eyes at her twin.

"I've never been stopped before just because something didn't _exist_! Besides, I think we can sustitute for some kind of horny potion to avoid screwing up the actual story."

So Wildfur pumped Love/Horny Potion into Secret Room Number 2 and threw Nightcloud, Crowfeather, Lionblaze, Heavystep, Loudbelly, Tigerstar, Scourge, Ravenpaw, and Striketail into the room.

Moonheart took out a nail file and began working on her claws. Wildfur played a video game. Soon, a chorus of purrs erupted from the room, along with a scream from Nightcloud.

"… Hey Moonheart."

"Mmmm."

"Nightcloud's the only girl in there."

"Yup."

"… then how do they all… 'love' her all at once."

"Maybe not all of them are 'loving' her right now."

"But how- …oooooooh!"

"Yeah, otherwise I imagine it would be very uncomfortable."

"… Should we let them out now?"

"What do you think."

"I agree, lets do a few more dares first."

Wildfur looked at the next dare, then burst out laughing. Then, she flashed her eyes again and brought Brambleclaw to the scene.

"Where am I?" The deputy demanded, "And what is that awful noise coming from that room-"

"NEVER MIND THAT!" Wildfur cut in. "You must drink 2,000 cappicionos and not get hyper or yell or stuff for a whole hour! Or else the consiquences will be…. _**Dire…**_**" **

"If this is the sacrafice I must do for my clan then I shall do it!" Brambleclaw announced,

"THAT WHAT SHE SA-" Came from behind stage, but was quickly cut off by Moonheart.

"Spiketail, if you so much as FINISH that sentence you shall face the same punishment. Now… BRING THE CAPPICIONOS!"

So Spiketail wheeled out a cart holding 2000 cappicionos.

Brambleclaw took the first coffee, "FOR THE CLAN!" and slurped it down.

Five minutes later he finished the whole cart.

"I didn't think we could get a cat addicted to caffine so fast." Moonheart said,

"I'm so proud of us." Wildfur sniffed, loudly blowing her nose on her tail. "Now lets start the timer!"

The timer lit up "1:00".

Brambleclaw's eye twitched.

The Timer counted down to 0:59.

0:58

0:57

0:5-

"I LIKE CHEESE!" Blurted out the tabby warrior.

"YAY! YOU LOSE!" Wildfur said gleefully, then flashed her eyes. Brambleclaw was now turned into a girl.

"I feel so wrong." The tabby warrior-ette said,

"Its about to get wrong-er." Moonheart said, then pushed Brambleclaw into Secret Room Number One, which was already crowded of cats doing their "thing".

Moonheart took the truth and read out loud: "Why is Hawkfrost so evil, while Mothwing is (pretty) nice?"

Wildfur interupted, "I think I can answer this one folks." Wildfur then brought a chalkboard to the stage and drew a crude picture of Tigerstar and Sasha. "You see, boys and girls, when a mommy-cat and a daddy-cat love each other veeery much-"

"WILDFUR! T RATED!"

"Oh yeah. Anyway, Hawkfrost inherited the 'mass-murdering heartless jerk' gene from his daddy, and Mothwing… must have inherited her pretty-ness from her mommy-cat, I guess."

"…Wild."

"Yes, Moon?"

"Never become a science teacher."

"KAY!"

Moonheart face-pawed, "Just take the next dare."

Wildfur ripped open the last envelope. "Rainwhisker must come back to life and Auburnfire gets to take him home with her. Cool! We can be like Opra! YOU get dead cat! And YOU get a cat!"

Wildfur's eyes flashed and Rainwhisker appeared from the dead, as well as Auburnfire (not back from the dead. She just appeared). The she-cat glomped Rainwhisker and purred, while the formerly dead cat looked bewildered. They were escorted off the stage.

"I'm so glad we got to make someone happy for a change…" Moonheart said pleasantly, "What else did that crazy cat dare us to do.

"Let's see. Mothwing and Cloudtail must confess they believe in StarClan." Wildfur's eyes flashed, and Cloudtail and Mothwing appeared at the stage.

"I HAVE SEEN THE LIGHT! I DO BELIEVE IN STARCLAN!" Cloudtail shouted sarcastically.

"As have I, even though in 'Night Whispers' they sound TOTALLY stupid!" Mothwing said, equally sarcastic.

"And finally!" Wildfur said, reading the dare, "Hawkfrost and Leafpool have to mate. Oh, this will be good."

With another eye-flash, Hawkfrost and Leafpool were on stage. Hawkfrost looked pissed. Leafpool just rolled her eyes. The two were uncerimoniusly pushed into Secret Room Number 2.

"Now, for the final dare!" Moonheart said, stealing the envelope from Wilfur, "A kareoke contest between Ravenpaw and Blackstar. They have to sing "Baby" by Justin B-"

Wildfur covered her ears with her paws, "LALALALALALA!"

"Oh, real mature, Wildfur!" Moonheart spat.

"LALALALALA!"

"FINE!" Moonheart hissed, "Don't blame me if we get Bieber-fan hate-mail tomarrow! What would you have them sing?"

Wildfur instantly stopped singing. "'DIRTY LITTLE SECRET' BY ALL-AMERICAN REJECTS!"

Moonheart sweatdropped, "Fine, just do it."

"THAT WHAT SHE-"

"I SWEAR, Spiketail! ONE MORE WORD!"

Wildfur's eyes flashed, and Blackstar was brough forth to the stage, and Ravenkit was guided by his mother Rainpool to the center stage.

"Hi, Aunty Moonheart and Aunty Wildfur!" Ravenkit chirped,

"That is SO cute!" Moonheart squeed,

"I feel old…" Wildfur said

The music began.

Blackstar: Let me know that I've done wrong,

When I've known this all along,

Ravenkit: I go around a time or two,

Just to waste my time with you.

Blackstar: Tell me all that you've thrown away,

Ravenkit: Find out games you don't wanna play,

Both: You are the only one that has to know-

Blackstar: I'll keep you my dirty little secret

Ravenkit: (dirty little secret)

Blackstar: Don't tell anyone or you`ll be just another regret,

Ravenkit: (Just another regret, hope that you can keep it)

Blackstar: Who has to know?

Ravenkit: When we live such fragile lives,

Blackstar: It's the best way we survive,

Ravenkit: I go around a time or two,

Blackstar: Just to waste my time with you,

Ravenkit: Tell me all that you've thrown away.

Blackstar: find out games you don't wanna play,

Both: You are the only one that has to know-

Ravenkit: I'll keep you my dirty little secret

Blackstar: (dirty little secret)

Ravenkit: Don't tell anyone or you`ll be just another regret,

Blackstar: (Just another regret, hope that you can keep it)

Ravenkit: Who has to know?

Ravenkit: Who has to know?

The way she feels inside (inside!)

Blackstar: Those thoughts I can't deny (can't deny!)

These sleeping thoughts won't lie (won't lie!)

Ravenkit: And all I've tried to hide

It's eating me apart

Blackstar: Trace this life back!

Ravenkit: I'll keep you my dirty little secret

Blackstar: (dirty little secret)

Ravenkit: Don't tell anyone or you`ll be just another regret,

Blackstar: (Just another regret, hope that you can keep it)

Ravenkit: Who has to know?

Blackstar: I'll keep you my dirty little secret

Ravenkit: (dirty little secret)

Blackstar: Don't tell anyone or you`ll be just another regret,

Ravenkit: (Just another regret, hope that you can keep it)

Blackstar: Who has to know?

Both: Who has to know?

Who has to know?

The crowd burst into appluase.

Wildfur nodded, "I am pleased."

"Unfortunatly, we still have to pick a winner." Moonheart said, "And we pick Ravenkit."

"WHAT? Why?" Blackstar said, outraged,

"Cuz' HE didn't spend his entire length of the series arguing and complaining!" Wildfur snarled, "And he DIDN'T kill Stonefur!"

"Well, that's all well and good!" Moonheart interjected, "Let's meet the kits. Here they are, in order of oldest to youngest with their parents."

Rainpool (Cinderheart and Lionblaze) gray tabby she-cat

Sharppaw (Tigerstar and Heavystep) dark brown tom

Ravenkit (Rainpool and Scourge) black tom

Dustkit (Sharppaw and Rowanclaw) light brown she-cat

Snakekit (Nightcloud and Crowfeather) dark gray she-cat

Goldkit (Nightcloud and Lionblaze) gold tabby she-cat

Stonekit (Brambleclaw and Heavystep) dark gray tom

Darkkit (Nightcloud and Tigerstar) black tom

Leafkit (Brableclaw and Loudbelly) tortoise-shell she-cat

Sparrowkit (Nightcloud and Ravenpaw) gray tabby tom

Smokekit (Leafpool and Hawkfrost) Black tom

Lightningkit (Nighcloud and Striketail) Black tom with white paws

"Holy crap! Twelve kits!" Moonheart said,

Wildfur nodded wisely, "It's quite clear that we'll need a bigger dressing room."

"Well, it looks like that's all the dares we have for tonight." Moonheart said finishing up,

"Yeah, but one more thing!" Wildfur interjected, "You see that button on the bottom of the screen? The one that says 'review'? It's very lonely. It needs love. If you want to make that button feel better you should PRESS IT! So long!"


	5. Chapter 5

Inside W'n'M Productions Dressing Room, Wildfur was content to sleep. The black she-cat was splayed across the large couch, and opened one bleary eye. To look straight into another eye.

"Mornin', Aunty Wildfwur!" Darkkit mewled, "Come pway wif us!"

"Can't hear. Sleeping." The older cat said, rolling onto the other side. A chorus of "Awwws" came from the kits. Snakekkit uneasily climbed the couch and batted her adopted caretaker's ears.

"We wanna play!" The kit said cheerfully. Soon, all of the kits began batting and chewing at the black she-cat.

"No! Leafkit, stop that! Dustkit, you are SO going to get it! RAVENKIT YOU GET DOWN FROM THERE RIGHT NOW!"

The oldest of the kits made an impressive cannonball onto Wildfur's back, pushing all the air out of her lungs.

"Okay, THAT'S IT!" Wildfur rolled onto her back, grabbing a giggling Ravenkit in her paws, "YOU ARE GOING TO GET TICKLED SO BAD, MISTER!"

At the low table in the dressing room, Moonheart's eyes glimmered and a bowl of coffee appeared. Her eyes glimmered again and sugar and cream floated into a bowl where a teaspoon stirred itself.

Rainpool came over to the table as well, and Moonheart caused a plate on pancakes to appear for her friend.

"Thanks." The gray she-cat said, "Have you seen Ravenkit."

A yowl came from the couch: "YOU DARE USE MY OWN TRICK AGAINST ME? YOU SHALL SUFFER THE CONSEQUENCES!"

Moonheart took a sip of her coffee, "Yes. Yes I have."

Spiketail walked over as well, "Ooh! Pancakes!" He swiped one off the top of the pile and into his mouth.

"That is disgusting." Moonheart said,

After a long, hard swallow Spiketail retorted, "You're just jealous you can't do it!"

"Moonheart, I think there's been a mistake." Sharppaw said, holding a piece of paper.

"Oh what now?"

"This says that Tigerstar and Heavystep are my parents, but they're both toms."

"Yep."

"But… that can't be right."

"It's best you don't know." Moonheart said gently,

"But… oh." Sharppaw shuddered.

"Get OFF, you beasts!" Wildfur said, leaping up from the couch, leaving the happily squeeling kits behind. "So what now?" She said to her sister.

Moonheart sighed and looked down at her unfinished coffee, "Well, I guess we might as well do the next chapter."

"Awesome! Let's- LIGHTNINGKIT! PUT THAT FLAMETHROWER DOWN! OUT INSURANCE WON'T COVER THAT!"

Moonheart facepalmed, then went with Wildfur to the stage, then paused and looked up.

"We have insurance?"

XxXxX

"Welcome, she-cats and toms to our FIFTH chapter of Warriors: TRUTH OR DARE!" Wildfur announced,

"Now, we shall begin for the first dare." Moonheart read the first dare out loud, "Ivypaw, Tigerheart, and Breezewhisker tell their clans they work for the Dark Forest and then suffer consequences."

Wildfur's eyes flashed and all of the clan cats were crammed onstage.

"… Uh, did I forget to mention I'm claustrophobic?" Wildfur asked,

Ivypaw, Tigerheart, and Breeezewhisker scrambled their way to the front of the crowd.

"Hey! Everyone! Hello! HEY! Yeah, hi. We all want you to work for the Dark Forest cats! They are rises again and we're helping them take over the forest! Work for them!" Tigerheart commanded,

"Yeah!" Ivypaw said, then whispered, _"Actually, don't! It's a reeeeally bad idea and Darkstripe is like a rapist of something!"_

"SCREW THE RULES! I HAVE PARENT ISSUES!" Breeezewhisker announced, causing everybody to stare at him.

…

"Well that was nice!" Wildfur said, "Let's send you home so that all the cats can kill you three." And with that they poofed away. "Next up! Breezepelt becomes Jayfeather's slave for two moons."

Wildfur flashed her eyes and Breezewhisker and Jayfeather were at the stage again.

"Hey! I was just here a minute ago!"

"Yeah, we remember, idiot." Jayfeather said,

"WHY YOU-"

"QUIT IT!" Moonheart said, "Breezewhisker, you have to be Jayfeather's slave for two moons!"

"And if I refuse?" Breezewhisker asked hautily,

Wildfur answered: "Then we introduce you to the Jayfeather fandom…" She pulled a chord that revealed hundreds of cats wearing t-shirts that said "WE HEART YOU JAYFEATHER!" and weilding chainsaws.

"The weapons are my favorite part!" Wildfur said happily. Jayfeather grinned,  
"Oh good! I'll finally be able to get that help getting the tansy patch growing in that twoleg monster. I'm sure you'll make it back, unlike the other ones…"

Wildfur's eyes flashed and they poofed off stage.

"And Auburnfire! You're welcome to Rainwhisker." Moonheart said,

"Yeah, he didn't appear much in the series anyway…" Wildfur added.

"Put Brambleclaw and Squirrelflight in a room and see who comes out alive."

Wildfur's eyes flashed and Brambleclaw and Squirrelflight were brought to the stage in a heavenly beam of light.

"What are _you _doing here!" They each screeched to eachother. But the conversation didn't get very far before Wildfur shouted "THIS. IS. SPARTA!" and kicked them both into Secret Room Number 2.

"And now we wait." Wildfur said.

2 HOURS LATER!

Wildfur and Moonheart were waiting paitently for screams of pain, when something came from the room.

"Oh, left, Brambleclaw! To the left!" Squirrelflight's voice rang. The two eavsdropping kitty's eyes widened.

"Faster! FASTER!"

"You want faster? I'll show you faster!"

Moonheart's jaw dropped. Wildfur got a disgusted look on her face. Finally, Moonheart snapped.

"I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!"

"DON'T DO IT! YOU'LL NEVER RECLAIM YOUR SIGHT!"

Moonheart flung the door opened, seeing Brambleclaw and Squirrelflight playing Mario Kart.

"Ha! PWND!" Squirrelflight shouted,

"No far! You used that flying shell!" Brambleclaw growled,

"…." Moonheart and Wildfur sweatdropped.

"Wait." Moonheart said, "Why did we have a Wii in there?"

Wildfur shrugged, "I didn't put it there! And the last to use this room was Nightcloud and the swarm of love potion-high manwhores."

"Well then," Moonheart said, taking a truth, "Why does Hawkfrost not have a mate?"

"Because he is obviosly too busy being a genocidal wannabe jerk to care about a she-cats feelings." Wildfur said, "That's why he only had one-night stands with everyone in Riverclan. Thank God he used a condom…"

"Why dosen't Brambleclaw forgive Squirrelflight already? I mean learn to forgive and forget dude!"

"Maybe its because her name is too long to spell." Wildfur said, "Or because she was an accessory to breaking one of the biggest rules in the world. Which is a stupid rule to begin with. I mean 'to focus on serving their clan'? THAT'S JUST BULL! And its not like Leafpool was the only medicine cat. Yellowfang just did a better job of keeping it secret."

"… Well then, here are some more dares first." Moonheart handed the envelope.

"Sandstorm has to have kits with Hawkfrost. Let's do thing thang!"

Sandstorm and Hawkfrost were brought onto the stage and Sparta-kicked into Secret Room Number 1.

"Perhaps we should explain how we get random cats who don't know eachother/ hate each other to mate." Moonheart said,

"Oh quite!" Wildfur said, "In addition to the love potion idea that MyrtleFalls to helpfully suggested we also have a large amount of air-blasted catnip pumped into the room. Extraordinairy! Next up, Firestar has to have a H1N1 vacination."

"What is this 'ache-one-en-one vacs-in-ashion' you speak of?" The Thunderclan leader asked,

"Allow me to demonstrate!" Wildfur whipped on a nurse cap and took out a huge frikkin' needle.

Firestar was gone before you could say "Hey, that's a huge frikkin' needle!"

"GET BACK HERE!" Wildfur shouted, giving chase.

Four hours later Wildfur stuck the needle into the leader.

It was the wrong leader.

Blackstar is refusing to appear on this show anymore.

"All of the Darkforest cats have to become girls."

"Wait!" Moonheart said, "This question implies that being a girl is a punishment!"

"It's a genderbender dare. We said we'd to them." Wildfur explained,

"Well _I _don't approve."

"Fine! I'll do it on my own." Wildfur's eyes flashed.

IN THE DARK FOREST

Brokenstar suddenly whipped his head up, "I sense a disturbance."

"I sense de ja vu." Tigerstar said gravely,

"I sense my entire life has been meaningless."

"We already knew that, Darkstripe."

BACK AT W'N'M STUDIOS!

"Silverstream has to have kits with Stonefur."

The silver she-cat and gray tom were sent down from Starclan and Sparta-kicked into Secret Room Number 3.

"Nightcloud has to eat 1000 pounds of sugar and not get hyper or the penalty will be death."

Nighcloud was sat infront of a table with 1000 pounds of sugar on it. She lifted the first spoonfull to her mouth.

"Time's up." Wildfur pressed a button and Nightcloud fell through a trap-door.

"Lionblaze to have kits with Ashfur, who is now a girl."

Wildfur's eyes flashed and Lionblaze and femaleAshfur were Sparta-kicked into Secret Room Number 4.

"Truth for Crowfeather: Which she-cat did he really love."

"My heart belonged to Feathertail, but I never stopped loving Leafpool. Sigh." Said emo Crowfeather, being all emo in his emo-ness. (If you can't tell, I'm sick of Crowfeather's emo-ness. He's such a freaking angst-trap!)

"Berrynose must be covered in fake maple syrup and thrown into a hornet nest."

Wildfur's eyes flashed and Berrynose was poofed onto the stage covered in maple syrup.

"Where am I? Ewww, whats this sticky stuff?"

A hornets nest fell onto the stage.

Berrynose screamed, "AAAAAAAAH!"

Wildfur and Moonheart were wearing those anti-insect suits that make you look like an alien… for cats.

"Ah… the beautiful sound of chaos." Wildfur said calmly.

"Graystripe must have kits with a she-cat of your choice with Silverstream and Millie outside the door. Therefore, they know what he was doing BUT Graystrpie and the she-cat have some privacy."

"I choose…" Wildfur squinted at the _Warriors_ Alliences, "AH! CHOICES! Heathertail!"

"…Why?"

"I paniced!"

With that, Graystripe and Heathertail were Sparta-kicked into Secret Room Number 4.

"And now," Wildfur said, "We'd like to thank a special someone out there. We are very proud of out little Truth or Dare, but we're even prouder of those who send in the best dares! Which is why we all say thank you to MyrtleFalls, who has been with is since the very beginning.

"Also, in the last chapter it should have been 'MyrtleFalls's OC', not 'my' OC, since a certain author got lazy and decided to copy/paste all the dares. Spiketail is NOT to be confused with Striketail." Moonheart explained.

"And yes," Wildfur said, "We can read minds. Now, before the final dare lets look at our kits!"

Rainpool (Cinderheart and Lionblaze) gray tabby she-cat

Sharppaw (Tigerstar and Heavystep) dark brown tom

Ravenkit (Rainpool and Scourge) black tom

Dustkit (Sharppaw and Rowanclaw) light brown she-cat

Snakekit (Nightcloud and Crowfeather) dark gray tabby she-cat

Goldkit (Nightcloud and Lionblaze) gold tabby she-cat

Stonekit (Brambleclaw and Heavystep) dark gray tom

Darkkit (Nightcloud and Tigerstar) black tom

Leafkit (Brableclaw and Loudbelly) tortoise-shell she-cat

Sparrowkit (Nightcloud and Ravenpaw) gray tabby tom

Smokekit (Leafpool and Hawkfrost) black tom

Lightningkit (Nighcloud and Striketail) black tom with white paws

Foxkit (Sanstorm and Hawkfrost) ginger she-cat

Moonkit (Silverstream and Stonefur) pale gray she-cat

Thornkit (Lionblaze and Ashfur) pale gold tom

Smokekit (Sandstorm and Graystorm) gray tom

Pinekit (Crowfeather and Tawnypelt) dark brown tabby tom

"Sixteen?" Wildfur moaned, "What, are you guys kit crazy?"

"So," Moonheart said suspicously, "What's this 'Super-secret' dare?"

Wildfur produced the last envelope.

"Leafkit has to grow up and get married to Spiketail and have a kit!"

….

"… Can cats get married?"

"I dunno."

"WAIT WAIT WAIT!" Spiketail said, abandoning his spot watching the show in the dressing room and sliding on stage, "HOLD UP! I don't wanna get married!"

"You have to! It says to in the dare!" Wildfur said,

"But I don't love Leafkit!"

"Could you love Leafpaw?"

"No!"

"Leaf-"

"No!"

"Then who?" Moonheart asked,

Spiketail gulped and said, "You, Moonheart."

XxXxXxX

DUN DUN FREAKIN' DUUUUUUUN!

That's right, DRAMATIC CLIFFHANGER FOR YOU! Mwahahahahaha! So now its up to you! Should Moonheart and Spiketail get married? Should he suck it up and marry Leafkit? YOU DECIDE!

…Read review and dare, plz.


	6. Chapter 6

In a small house in a snowy neighborhood, a humaniod hedgehog known as Muses was typing furiously at the computer. Bleary eyed, she stared into the screen.

Wildfur suddenly appeared with a flash beside the hedgehog and leaped onto the keyboard.

"WOULD YOU FINISH THE NEXT CHAPTER OF OUE STORY!" She demanded, "We've still got that cliffhanger of weather or not Moonheart marries Spiktail.

"Well, 'scuse the heck outta me!" Muses said, "But I've got to study for finals, so its not exactly the chapters are flying outta my brain! Besides, I'm not sure cats can get married outside of Japan…"

"Whatever, Just get back to work! What do you think I'm paying you for?"

"You don't pay me! You're a character of my imagination!"

"Don't care! Just finish a chapter before you're gone for winter break! Kthnxbye!"

XxXxXxXxX

In the W'n'W productions dressing room, a very intense conversation was going on.

"I… feel… so… AWKWARD!" Moonheart said,

"Would you just chill!" Wildfur said, "Look, its not like niether of us hasn't known Spike for a long time, right?"

"That's true." Moonheart admitted,

"And its not like Spiketail isn't a fit, young, admirable traited tom who's been able to finish Sonic Unleashed in under 42 hours."

"That's true…"

"And its not like you don't have arousing dreams about him."

"That's tr- WAIT WHAT?"

"Then its decided!" Wildfur announced, "The marriage shall proceed!"

"YUS!" Spiketail shouted from his hiding spot underneath the couch.

XxXxXxXxX

The spotlight showed Wildfur next speaking into a bluetooth, "Yes, the red roses on the right, the white roses on the left…. I dunno! I'm not a ro-botonist!"

Moonheart, who was next to her, said, "I'm pretty sure its 'botonist'…" But Wildfur waved her off,

"I've heard it both ways. Let's get started with the show. First off, I have some announcements to make!"

Wildfur pressed a button and a large rock jutted out of the floor suddenly. Ravenkit, guided by Rainpool was pointed to the base of the rock.

Wildfur stood on the top, making a pose like that one might find in Disney's "Lion King".

"Starclan, look down on this kit, blah blah blah, he wants to be a warrior, yadda yadda, keep him in your thoughts and actions and so forth." She said, the looked down upon Ravenkit, "For this day until further notice you shall be an apprentice, but for legal reason's your name shall be spelled Raven Paw. Live long and prosper."

The rock dissapeared with a flash and Wildfur took out some envelopes, "NOW LETS DO SOME DARES!"

"Dump Ivypaw (or any other white she cat in the books) in the tub of green jello!"

Moonheart turned to Wildfur, "Isn't it amazing how we're such over-achievers?"

"Yus. So we'll be dumping ALL THE SHE-CATS IN GREEN JELLO!"

Wildfur flashed her eyes and a pirate ship appeared on stage floating on a pool of green jello. Ivypaw stood at the plank.

"This blows. It's only my second time on this show." She complained, before she was pushed into the sugary pool, followed by the rest of the she-cats with a lot of yowls and words that nobody knew cats understood.

"Jayfeather has to have kits with Ivypaw and then the kits have to take over the lake and then give it back for a pound of catmint."

The pirateship and jello pool dissappeared, replaced by Jayfeather and Ivypaw, who was still soaked in green jello.

"THIS…. IS…. SPARTAAAAAA!" Wildfur and Moonheart screamed before kicking them both into Secret Room 1.

One hour later:

"Let's see the kits now so we can do the rest of the dare." Moonheart said, then held up a white she-cat, "This is Frostkit," Then she picked up a dark gray tom, "And Wolfkit," Then she picked up a dark gray tabby tom, "And Stormkit."

Wildfur whipped out her Universal Remote and fired at the kits, "They are now Frostsky, Wolftooth, and Stormheart!"

"That was weird…" Frostsky said, "It feels like only a few minutes ago we were kits!"

"There goes my fufilling childhood. Now I'll never get to play baseball with my dad." Stormheart said cynically.

"I'm glad you all are here!" Wildfur announced, "I am Wildfur, you're leader. This is Moonheart, my deputy and lemon square enthusiast. Your mission, if you choose to expect it, is to take over the forest where your parent's and the related property of the Erin Hunters live. NOW GO FORTH!"

And so they did.

TWO DAYS LATER!

Wolftooth stood on the island in the lake holding a flag importantly, "I claim this forest/lake in the name of ME!"

Frostsky coughed behind him,

"I mean US!"

Stormheart went up to the clan leaders, "PWN'D!"

Frostsky went up to Firestar, "Y'know, we'll give it back for a pound of catmint…."

"Really?" Firestar said shocked,

"Yeah, but one condition…"

XxXxXxX

"…So, to end this meeting, we shall give thanks once again to our supreme masters of the universe." Firestar said, finshing the meeting as the all stood behind three large statues of Wolftooth, Stormheart and Frostsky.

"… That was fun to watch." Wildfur announced,

"I like the part where Breezepelt stopped moving." Moonheart added. "Next, Leopardstar to get eaten by paranhas."

Wildfur's eyes flashed and the pirate ship was back again, only this time over a pool of water with carnivorious fishies inside. Leopardstar was at the plank.

"Screw the rules! I have insecurity issues!" She yelled, before being pushed off the plank.

"Leafpool and Hawkfrost to go on a date (they don't have to mate) and NO VIOLENCE! Actually, just give themm love potions."

Wildfir made a face, "Pleh. Happiness." Moonheart rolled her eyes and slipped Hawkfrost and Leafpool love potions. Wildfur flashed her eyes and Leafpool and Hawkfrost were at a senic beach. A screen appeared onstage showing where they two cats were

"Wow. Leafpool looks happy for the first time in at least six books." Leafpool said,

"Yeah, no kidding. When did the previous generation all become Emo McEmo-pantses?"

"Now they're making out."

"Yes. And how they are."

"… I didn't know cats could do that."

"Learn something new everyday."

Moonheart pushed the screen away, "This is disturbing. Let's do something else!"

"Brackenfur must yell PONIES PUPPIES AND PINAPPPLES AND RADISHHES! Exactly like that."

Brakenfur appeared onstage, "PONIES PUPPIES AND PINAPPLES AND RADISHHES!"

"YOU FORGOT ONE 'P' IN 'PINEAPPLES'!" Wildfur yelled,

"Oh COME ON!" The warrior complained, "How do you even hear that?"

Then Brakenfur was blown up 400 times.

"I like explosions." Announced Wildfur,

"I like pineapples." Announced Moonheart,

"I LIKE PIE!" Shouted Sharppaw from offstage,

"I LIKE CHEESE!" Shouted Firestar from the audience.

"… yes." Finished Wildfur.

"Tigerstar and Firestar have to slowdance at the prom." Wildfur, "O… kay?"

Tigerstar and Firestar were poofed to a cat-prom, where they slowdanced quiet impressively.

"This is the most idiotic thing I've ever been forced into doing." Tigerstar hissed,

"You're just mad cuz you're dead and I'm leading."

"Ashfur has to be in the same position as in longshadows, but so hes the one trapped in the ring of fire!"

Ashfur was poofed into Longshadows.

"Eh? Where am I?" He asked, the saw himself surrounded by fire and saw himself, alive and crazy, approaching him menacingly, "Wow… I look so freakin' hot!" He said, but then realized, "Wait… if that's me, and I'm me, then-"

And then both their heads exploded.

"IT'S A FREAKIN' PARADOX!" Wildfur yelled,

"Next, Tigerstar, Sol, Hawkfrost, Scourge, and everyone else evil appeare on 'America's Cutest Cat'."

3 HOURS LATER:

"Well, looks like Scourge won. Hawkfrost came pretty close though. Darkstripe just failed." Wildfur said as she fiddled with the remote.

"I've never seen so many antagonists partaking in such adorable events…" Moonheart shiverd, "It's creepy…"

Then, the sound of a clock struck seven. Wildfur looked to the sky,

"It…. Is time." She announced,

"What?" Moonheart asked,

"Just a sec!" Wildfur ran off stage, brought back Leafkit and the Universal remote. She fired it at Leafkit and she turned into a beautiful tortoise-shell she-cat.

"Where am I?" She asked,

"By the powers invested in me, from the day forward you shall be known as Leafshadow. Please join those many cats over there to be filled in on details." Wildfur pushed her towards the group of cats who had also been born on the show. Stormheart automatically went up to Leafshadow.

"You new 'around here?" He asked,

"Actually, I grew up here." Leafpool laughed,

"What a coincidence! Me too!"

Wildfur the spread her arms-er, paws, and the entire stage became covered in red and white roses. Spiketail was pushed to the altar with a pole. A veil was shoved upon Moonheart's head as he was too pushed to the altar.

Wildfur popped up behind previously metioned altar in a white priet robe, "Brothers… sisters… mothers, fathers, aunts, oncles, grandpappys, grandmas, cousins, cousins twice removed… people we don't know very well but pretend to-"

"Get on with it!" Moonheart urged,

"Yeah, well, we are gathered here to day to join Spiketail and Moonheart in matri-money."

"'_Matrimony'"_

"I've heard it both ways, now shut up. Kay, blah blah blah, yadda yadda, ect. You're hitched. Now make hot-monkey-cat love and produce me a waffle-flippin' godchild!"

The two were pushed into a Secret Room with a sign labeled "Just Married".

8 HOURS LATER:

"Here you go." Wildfur said, giving Moonheart a pineapple,

"Whats this for?" she asked, Spiketail was standing next to her,

Wildfur said, "You're bridal shower/baby shower gift!"

"How did you know I was- nevermind. Let's announce the kits so I can go on my Honeymoon. We're goin' to New Orleans!" Moonheart announced, sounding pleased,

Rainpool (Cinderheart and Lionblaze) gray tabby she-cat

Leafshadow (Brambleclaw and Loudbelly) tortoise-shell she-cat

Frostsky (Jayfeather and Ivypaw) white she-cat

Wolftooth (Jayfeather and Ivypaw) gray tom

Stormheart (Jayfeather and Ivypaw) gray tabby tom

Sharppaw (Tigerstar and Heavystep) dark brown tom

Raven Paw (Rainpool and Scourge) black tom

Dustkit (Sharppaw and Rowanclaw) light brown she-cat

Snakekit (Nightcloud and Crowfeather) dark gray tabby she-cat

Goldkit (Nightcloud and Lionblaze) gold tabby she-cat

Stonekit (Brambleclaw and Heavystep) dark gray tom

Darkkit (Nightcloud and Tigerstar) black tom

Sparrowkit (Nightcloud and Ravenpaw) gray tabby tom

Smokekit (Leafpool and Hawkfrost) black tom

Lightningkit (Nighcloud and Striketail) black tom with white paws

Foxkit (Sanstorm and Hawkfrost) ginger she-cat

Moonkit (Silverstream and Stonefur) pale gray she-cat

Thornkit (Lionblaze and Ashfur) pale gold tom

Smokekit (Sandstorm and Graystorm) gray tom

Pinekit (Crowfeather and Tawnypelt) dark brown tabby tom

"Well, that's it!" Wildfur said,

"Everyone have a happy holiday!" Moonheart said, "We'll be back in maybe 2 weeks, depending on when Muses gets back from vacation."

"What's a 'cocodilly'?" Spiketail asked, reading from a travelers guide,

"I dunno. A fruity drink?"

"Well, see ya guys later!"


	7. Chapter 7

Wildfur came up to the stage, looking downcast and disheartend.

"Hey folks. Now you MAY have noticed we haven't updated lately. This is due to a nationwide plage known as 'Lazy Author Syndrom'-"

Suddenly a human girl marched onto the stage, "I am NOT LAZY! I have homework now, y'know! And I'm still working on my Sonic the Hedgehog stories!"

Wildfur flattened her ears and gave the girl an uninterested look, "Whatever. Just hop on your little way and- Hey! How come last time I spoke to you, you were a hedgehog and now you're a human?"

Muses shrugged, "Must be the Paradox!"

Offscreen, Spiketail yelled "IT'S A FREAKIN' PARADOX!"

And with that Muses poofed away.

"Well then." Moonheart meowed, walking one stage, "Now lets begin."

"Willowshine has to flirt with Breezepelt while he's Flirting with Heathertail while she's flirting with Lionblaze while he's flirting with Cinderheart while she's flirting with Jayfeather while he's flirting with Willowshine. After this they all have to have kits together and the kits get to have special privliges such as alway being able to eat chocolate and then get to blow cats up."

Wildfur's eyes flashed, and Willowshine, Breezepelt, Heathertail, Lionblaze, Cinderpelt and Jayfeather appeared onstage.

"Hey, hotstuff! Are you busy tonight around 3:00 AM?" Willowshine said to Breezepelt, who ignored her,

"Am I dead, Angel? Cuz' this must be heaven." Said Breezepelt to Heathertail, who ignored him,

"Hey, can I borrow a quarter? I want to call your mom and thank her." Heathertail said to Lionblaze, who ignored her,

"Oooooh, I'm so confused!" Lionblaze rubbed his temple with his paws, "I mean- If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put 'I' and 'U' together." Lionblaze said to Cinderheart, who see above.

"Wouldn't we look cute on a wedding cake together?" Cinderpelt said to Jayfeather, who ignored her,

"Bond. James Bond." Jayfeather said to Willowshine, who ignored him.

"KAY, TIME FOR FIVESOME!" Wildfur announced,

"THIS… IS.. SPARTAAAAA!" Wildfur and Moonheart yelled, kicking the five cats into Secret Room 1.

"Every one must be canadians."

"Right…" Said Wildfur, "Cuz THAT'S politically correct."

"Oh, just do it!" Moonheart scolded.

Wildfur's eyes flashed, and suddenly she was sitting on a moose, holding the Cannadian flag and a bottle of maple syrup. Moonheart was wearing a red-and-white scarf, cat-sized hockey skates, and holding a giant beaver plushie.

"Okay, I this IS really stereotypical…" Moonheart said, observing her beaver plushie.

"Hooray! My very own moose! … Aye!" Wildfur announced.

"No, Wildfur! What if Canadiene viewers are insulted?"

"Oh, right. Apologies to everyone from the grand land of Canada!" Wildfur said.

"Scourge has to play Für Elise by Beethoven on the piano or violin(if u don't know Für Elise then do a lullaby or something calming) Then he discovers his brother is Firestar(which is true) and they have tea or coffee at Starbucks."

Wildfur's eyes flashed and Scourge appears sitting at a grand piano. Scourge presses several keys,

"I can't play this thing! I don't have fingers!" he complained,

"Hush!" Bluestar said, "We're not supposed to know what hands are! I'd come over and tell you how to play, but I'm in Starclan and we're not supposed to do anything."

So Scourge just randomly pounded the piano in an attempt to play. Glass broke around the country-area and everyone suddenly became heavy metal fans.

Scourge was swarmed by cat shouting his name.

"They like me! They REALLY LIKE ME!" The Bloodclan leader cried, until the mob just dumped him back on stage. They just really wanted him to stop playing that piano.

"Oh." Moonheart said, "And by-the-by, did you know that Firestar is your brother?"

"REALLY?" Scourge and Firestar, who was creeping around backstage, yelled at the same time.

"Indeed. Go have a drink over it."

"BOOZE!" The toms said happily,

"NO! Go to Starbucks or something!"

So the toms went to discuss their lives as equal brothers.

AT THE STARBUCKS FIFTEEN MINUTES LATER:

Scourge set down his cup of tea, "… and I just though '…. Hey. That's some fine embroidery!' And so began my private buisness of embroidery from the Dark Forest."

"Fascinating!" Firestar said, sipping his latte, "It must be difficult to get orders from outside the Forest."

"Well, its really more of a hobby anyway. But I got this really great add space on the back of the tv guide, so I expect sales will start to pick up any day now."

BACK AT THE STUDIO:

"… I feel as if the very fabric of time and space is unraveling…" Moonheart said.

"IT'S A FREAKIN' PARADOX!" Shouted… oh, you guys probably know by now.

"Okay, lets take a look at our list of kitties!" Wildfur said,

Rainpool (Cinderheart and Lionblaze) gray tabby she-cat

Leafshadow (Brambleclaw and Loudbelly) tortoise-shell she-cat

Frostsky (Jayfeather and Ivypaw) white she-cat

Wolftooth (Jayfeather and Ivypaw) gray tom

Stormheart (Jayfeather and Ivypaw) gray tabby tom

Sharppaw (Tigerstar and Heavystep) dark brown tom

Raven Paw (Rainpool and Scourge) black tom

Dustkit (Sharppaw and Rowanclaw) light brown she-cat

Snakekit (Nightcloud and Crowfeather) dark gray tabby she-cat

Goldkit (Nightcloud and Lionblaze) gold tabby she-cat

Stonekit (Brambleclaw and Heavystep) dark gray tom

Darkkit (Nightcloud and Tigerstar) black tom

Sparrowkit (Nightcloud and Ravenpaw) gray tabby tom

Smokekit (Leafpool and Hawkfrost) black tom

Lightningkit (Nighcloud and Striketail) black tom with white paws

Foxkit (Sanstorm and Hawkfrost) ginger she-cat

Moonkit (Silverstream and Stonefur) pale gray she-cat

Thornkit (Lionblaze and Ashfur) pale gold tom

Smokekit (Sandstorm and Graystorm) gray tom

Pinekit (Crowfeather and Tawnypelt) dark brown tabby tom

Rabbitkit (Willowshine and Breezepelt) White and ginder she-cat

Hawkkit (Willowshine and Heathertail) dark ginger tom

Sunkit (Willowshine and Lionblaze) gold tabby tom

Spiderkit (Willowshine and Cinderheart) black she-cat

Birdkit (Willowshine and Jayfeather) tortoiseshell she-cat

Cloudkit (Breezepelt and Heathertail) pale gray she-cat

Firekit (Breezeplt and Lionblaze) dark ginger tom

Skykit (Breezepelt and Cinderheart) light gray she-cat

Thunderkit (Breezepelt and Jayfeather) black tom

Snowkit (Heathertail and Lionblaze) white she-cat

Squirrelkit (Heathertail and Cinderheart) small brown she-cat

Oakkit (Heathertail and Jayfeather) dark brown tom

Lightkit (Lionblaze and Cinderheart) pale gray she-cat

Graykit (Cinderheart and Jayfeather) dark gray tom

"Too…. Many… kittens!" Wildfur said, fainting.

"Well, that's all for tonight!" Moonheart said, "Catch you guys later!"


	8. Chapter 8

_Author's note: OOOOOOOOOH GOD THE LATENESS!_

Wildfur readjusted her completely needed tacky Hawaiian shirt- which, for a cat, is quite difficult I might add. A Cheshire grin was plastered on her face, "This… is so… EPIC!"

Moonheart just looked at Wildfur and rolled her eyes, which would have looked a lot more serious if she wasn't wearing huge sunglasses. "Remember, we're on this vacation for very important reasons-"

"Yeah, so we don't have to do any more stupid dare shows. I know I know!" Wildfur groaned obnoxiously and slurped on a pineapple smoothie, "I just hope this plane lands soon. I have a few complaints for the airline company."

Moonheart looked around. She and her twin were both in animal carriers in the luggage room also occupied by two wiener dogs, a bald cat, five rabid weasels and an alpaca. "Wild… we're in **luggage!**"

"Well they don't let animals in first class." The darker sister said distastefully, "Such disgusting discrimination. And if we've been on an airplane where'd I get this smoothie?"

"Shut up a sec!" the green eyed sister demanded, "I think we've touched down."

"Yahoo! Hawaii here we come!" Wildfur kicked her cage door open and strutted out. Moonheart tried her cage door and found it was unlocked as well.

"So wait- we could have just opened these and walked out anytime!"

.

"ALOHAAAAAAAAA~" Wildfur announced, flinging open the door of the hotel they were scheduled at, Moonheart being dragged beside her.

But wait a sec…

A huge stage.

A broken coffee machine.

Thirty-four chaotic kittens of various ages and colors.

"**!"**

"Yes?" answered a teenaged girl to the furious black-haired cat,

"What in the name of all that is holy and decent is this?"

"In your contract actually." The human grinned, cruelty glinting in the eyes. The big hotel doors swung shut behind them. She held up a piece of paper that drifted to the floor. By the bottom were both the she-cats' signatures, Moonheart's signature was written in perfect curly cursive. Wildheart's looked like it was written by a five-year-old.

"So we're doing the show again?" Moonheart asked apathetically,

The human nodded.

"NO." Wildfur insisted, "NO. NO. NO. NO. NO. NOOOOO. I came here for vacationing! This is Hawaii, by fudge!"

"Actually its Skokie." Moonheart confirmed with a paw-held PDA. The ebony she-cat death-glared at the blond human.

"I hate you. I hate you so much. I hate you more than Crowfeather hates life. I hate you more than I hated all the awful holes in Breezepelt's logic. I hate you A LOT."

'Have fun you guys!" Muses said as he poofed away.

Moonheart dragged Wildheart to the stage, "C'mon, lets get this over with. Read the darn dares!"

Wildheart reluctantly took the envelopes. "Jayfeather must do whatever a random Jayfeather fan asks him to do for an entire day. "

Moonheart rubbed her chin "But where are we going to find a Jayfeather fangirl…."

"I think I have a decent idea…" Wildfur said cryptically

_Somewhere in the Forest…_

Jayfeather sneezed.

How curious, he now felt as if he was at the mercy of someone who would swoop down on him in the next sentence.

"_Jaaaaaaaayfeatherrrrrrrrr…"_

His ears drooped. Willowshine pounced out of the bushes like a vicious marmoset.

As Willowshine dragged Jayfeather to her raep cave to make him do her bidding only one cry for help escape his mouth;

"I'M JUST NOT _THAT INTO_ YOU!"

Back at the studio.

"So yeah, that's basically how the next series is probably going to be played out." Wildfur nodded confidently,

Her sister gave her a cynical look "You don't know that!"

"Then I openly invite the Erins to surprise me. But that's beside the point for now." Wildfur opened up the next dare "Brackenfur must fight the evil Jello mentioned in chapter 1."

"Fight the jello?" the white she-cat echoed, "I thought that was just a tub of jello where two opponents fight."

The black cat rolled her eyes, "Well _I_ for one am glad at least MyrtleFalls understood what I said." Wildfur's eyes flashed and Brakenfur appeared on the stage.

The cannon character gave them a surprised look, "Where have YOU guys been since January?"

"It's a process."

Wildfur's eyes flashed a second time and the tub of green jello appeared on stage.

The jello gurgled a little, sending massive ripples across its surface. Suddenly the green ooze bubbled and boiled, rising up and taking a huge very vague human form.

"**ROOOOOOOAR…."** It moaned,

Brakkenfur looked at the ceiling at the creature with wide eyes "Mommy…."

The jello-monster pounded the stage, its hands dissipating into wave of sugary lime-ness that smashed Brakkenfur into the wall. Brakkenfur gasped for air after the tidal wave finished, spitting out some leftover jello.

"Wait a minute…" Brakkenfur said. He looked at the small pile of jello that had just been in his mouth.

Then at the jello monster.

Then back.

Then at the monster.

Then back.

Then at the monster.

Then-

"JUST EAT IT ALREADY!" Dustpelt screamed from offstage.

"Oh, that's not what I was thinking at all…" the gold tom said in wonder, "but okay! OM NOM NOM NOM!"

_Twenty minutes and five tons of jello later_

"I'm gonna vomit." Brakkenfur moaned.

Moonheart shrugged indifferently, "We'll make up for it with a free muffin basket." At the mention of food Brakkenfur's face turned as green as the jello he just consumed.

"Did you know…" Wildfur interluded, "Cats can't taste sweetness?"

"Lionblaze fights Knuckles from Sonic the Hedgehog. " Wildfur just stared for a minute before shrugging "okay!" And flashed her eyes again.

Suddenly a Pokemon-esque arena appeared in the middle of the stage. In the middle stood Wildfur wearing a white a black striped referee uniform. "Lets get ready to RUUUUUUUMBLE!"

The audience erupted into cheers as Wildfur carried on her announcements, "Iiiiiiiiin thiiiiiiis cornerrrrrrrrr- a character to whom most everyone is familiar with! He's the Thunderclan goldenbody, the Entity of Hero-Angst… LIONBLAZZZZZZZZZE!"

Lionblaze wore a pumped expression, "I'm gonna mess you up- then I'm gonna mope about it to teach my readers that doing stuff like that is not okay!"

"Aaaaaaaand in thissssss corrrrrrnerrrr… a video game icon and Sega's FOURTH biggest Cash Cow… Knuckles the Echidna!" wildfur gestured to the mentioned character.

"You think you're so tough kid! You don't even know what an echidna IS!"

The two circled each other with intense glares.

"You sounded cooler when you were voiced by Dan Green!"

"Your dad is an emo!"

"YOU'RE an emo!"

"Only in one cannon universe!"

Moonheart sighed and facepawed, "This is never gonna end is it?"

"No kidding." Wildfur added, "Let's get back to these two next chapter."

"Berrynose gets smashed by a sledgehammer 1,460,555,555,789,000,322,111,970 times. By his mate."

Berrynose and Poppyfrost appeared on stage. Poppyfern was given a sledgehammer, she looked nervously at her mate, "This is gonna hurt me more than its going to hurt you, honey…"

"Well, actually…" Began Berrynose until he was smashed with the sledgehammer, "OW!"

"OW!"

"OW!"

Ect.

"So is that it?" Wilfur moaned dissapointedly,

Moonheart shot her a glare, "We just did a whole bunch of dares! And I thought you didn't WANT to do these anymore."

"Well so's your face." Wildfur said, despite the fact that the phrase made no sense in this context, "Now we need some filler anyhow since I don't think any new kittens were made in this chapter, not including any that could have been conceived during the part about Jayfeather being Willowshine's love-slave!"

Moonheart rolled her eyes.

"HEY!" Wildfur suddenly said, making the other she-cat jump, "Let's finally introduce your kits!"

"Okay." Moonheart shrugged, "Spiketail!"

The dark ginger tom walked on stage with his and Moonheart's two kittens hanging onto his back.

He picked up one, a white tom with gray patches, "This," he announced proudly, "is Shadekit."

"And this," Moonheart said fondly picking up the second kit, also a tom but dark ginger like his father with a white face underbelly, "is Fangkit."

The two loving parents set their twins on the floor. The kits were old enough to walk but still uncoordinated and not yet able to speak. Shadekit spotted a dustbunny on the floor and batted at it with his tiny paw, sending it flying. The kitten took up a wobbly stance and made way to its new playmate, but tripped on the way and tumbled on the floor. Shadekit huffed in annoyance.

"He takes after his momma." Spiketail chided. Moonheart huffed in annoyance exactly as her son did.

"I'm an auntie!" Wildfur said, clearly pleased. She wagged her tail happily, invoking the interest of Fangkit. Said kit batted at her tail like it was a new toy, mewling joyfully.

Moonheart beamed "I'm just happy that with all we do here, my sons are still safe."

Everyone looked at her with disbelief.

"Now you've done it." Wildfur deadpanned,

Moonheart blinked, "What?"

As if on que, the lights went out. A female shriek sounded.

"Moonheart, calm down!" Wildfur roared in the darkness,

"Um… that wasn't me, Wild." Moonheart said,

"Sorry…" Spiketail groaned.

But when the lights came on the kits… HAD GONE MISSING.

DUN

DUN

DUUUUUN!

Moonheart let loose a string of colorful cat-swears in agony. Spiketail looked worried and infuriated

"Wait a minute!" Wildfur said to the two parents, "I found a clue!" Wildfur gestured to a broken off collar sporting fangs all around the outside. Its all the rage this fall.

"It must be Scourge's!" Moonheart said,

"Point me at 'im. I'm in the mood to cut a be-yotch." Spiketail growled, uncharacteristically violent.

"Hold up a sec!" Wildfur interrupted, "This could be a red herring in the mystery!"

Moonheart held up the collar, "His name is embroidered on the inside."

"… Okay, we know its him."

Before you could say "Ooooh! A plot!" Moonheart and Spiketail were out the door to reclaim their sons.

"Oh dear…" Wildfur turned to the audience, "Keep sending in dares, everybody! Justice WILL prevail!"


	9. Chapter 9

Wildfur timidly waved her paw at the audience, "Hiya folks! I'm sure you've noticed the shortage of Moonheart and Spiketail, as they're off on a rescue mission for their kidnapped brood…"

Still speaking to the audience, Wildfur ducked backstage. She reappeared crossing the other side of the stage with a few pawfuls of various technological gadgets. "Of course I have to assist in the helping of my favorite nephews, but I figured I'd try a much more fun SCIENCE-Y method."

She dumped the gizmos into a box and started pushing it off stage, "So while I'm doing that, say hello to our back-up hosts-"

"Hel-LOO Fanfiction dot net! Are you ready to _**ROCK!"**_ Stormheart leaped onto the stage with vigor,

"Chill out, Storm-stupid." Frostsky said bitterly, following her brother.

Wolftooth followed his siblings, he turned to Wildfur "I can't believe you're trusting _them_ with your nearly unlimited power. Me, I can understand, but _them_."

Wildfur sighed as she disappeared to her dressingroom, "Just don't blow too much stuff up. That's MY job!"

"Right-o, bossman-lady-cat!" Stormheart saluted, then turned to Frostsky, "What now?"

Frostsky sighed, the took an envelope from the air the way her employers would normally do and read aloud,

"Lionblaze must start singing the song that goes on forever."

Frostksy twitched her ears and Lionblaze appeared in a puff of icy-blue cloud.

Lionlaze looked around, bewildered, "What-what-what? Where are the usual psychopaths?"

"Never mind that, uncle-dude." Stormheart interjected, "Now start singing!"

"I shall do no such thi- _this is the song that never ends, yes it goes on and on my friends…"_

"Oh gog, what have we done?" Wolftooth groaned.

"_some people starting singing it not knowing what it was,_

_and they will be singing it forever just because,"_

"Are we stuck with him like this for the whole chapter?"

"_This is the song that never ends…"_

"Looks like. Lets just move on."

Stormheart took an envelope and read "I dare Blossomfall and Ivypool to act like detectives on those serial shows that wear sunglasses at night and try to find out exactly what happened to Hollyleaf after the tunnel collapsed."

A black cloud swirled onstage, revealing a portal showing the forest in black and white. Ivypool stood at the cave in, wearing a fedora and subglasses. Next to her Blossomfall wore sunglasses and a bowler hat."

Ivypool dramatically took off her sunglasses, "I stand at the scene of the crime, looking for clues to lead to whatever may have happened to the victim, codename: Razy-cay itch-bay. My assistant creating an illustration of Razy-cay itch-bay as I narrate."

Blossomfall showed her illustration, a stick-figure kiddy with a big frownie-face.

"Excellent work, Blossomfall. Now lets search for clues."

Blossomfall and Ivypool muddled around in the rocks.

"Detective, look!" Blossomfall held up a leaf,

"Egads!" Ivypool said, "The maple leaf, a symbol of the **Canadian Mafia**!"

Blossomfall gasped, "You mean the most dangerous and Canadian of all mafias!"

"The very same! We must catch a boat at once, since we're technically in the United Kingdom."

"But we're not supposed to know where we are, detective!"

"We're not supposed to know what Canada is either! Now TO THE DOCKS!"

"I liked doing that!" Stormheart said happily. Frostky nodded,

"The last one will require Wildfur, so you'll have to summon her, Wolftooth."

Wolftooth growled with his ears flattened, "Oh sure, give me the lame job!"

"JUST DO IT!"

A gray cloud crackled thunder on the stage, poofing Wildfur on stage.

"Woah… I never realized how weird that feels…" the dark she-cat said, shaking her head clear, "So you need me to do some ceremonies, yes? But first I'll need an upgrade to be a proper Leader."

WILDFUR LEVELED UP!

Wildfur leveled up to WILDSTAR

"Ahh, much better." Wildstar breathed, looking satisfied, "Of course Moonheart will still be my deputy when she gets back. Now I apologize that don't have time to do all the ceremonies properly, but I figure I'll just speed things along."

Raven Paw and Sharppaw were suddenly onstage, eyes eagerly shining.

RAVEN PAW leveled up!

RAVEN PAW is now RAVENFLIGHT!

SHARPPAW leveld up!

SHARPPAW is now SHARPBITE!

Wildstar groaned. "Do I really have to do thirty-something kits and make them into warriors?"

Ravenflight shrugged, "Why not let the audience decide? You, Moonheart and Spiketail are three. Me, Sharpbite, Rainpool, Leafshadow and the triplets make ten."

"Yeah", Sharpbite added, "Let the readers (all four of them) pick fifteen kits to make part of your clan and the others we can let the readers adopt!"

"Okay. Lets do that. **You hear that, readers! You have homework to do!" **Wildstar demanded, "Now… CATNIP FOR EVERYONE!"

Everyone cheered as they all got baked like a batch of cookies.

"Now, before the episode ends I have other matters to attend to…" Wildstart said cryptically, going back to the dressingroom.

In the dressingroom it appeared that Wildstar had built a huge supercomputer. It was styled as a larger version of her time-controlling remote.

The dark she-cat fiddled with the controls, punching in a few numbers with her paws, until finally the screen focused on Scourge, in the Dark Forest with the two missing kits.

Scourge nudged Fangkit away disdainfully.

"There was once a time when I would have killed you without a second thought." Scourge growled at the two kittens, "Now you are the humble beginnings of my rise to power. We'll see how Brokenstar's emo-child will fair against _you_, once you have grown and are completely under my authority."

Shadekit pawed at Scourge's foot, "The first lesson, you see, is fear! Once you have learned to fear and respect me we can begin my grand rise to- stop that!" he batted Fangkit away from gnawing on his tail.

"I can't keep talking to kittens. I need to crotchet."

As Scourge evilly walked out of the room, Wildstar's machine locked on the two kittens.

_**PHE-CHOOOOOOO**_

Moonheart, in her first debut of this chapter, burst into Scourge's cave-lair like a total ninja-boss.

"Awright! I'm here to kick ass and drink tea, and I'm all outta tea!"

Spiketail nudged his mate/wife, "There's something intensely wrong with this picture."

"Oh? What?"

Spiketail pointed his tail to an unconscious bloody Scourge in the corner. Shadekit was batting at Scourge's ears, and Fangkit finally got to gnaw on Scourge's tail without interruption.

"….."

"….."

"….."

"….. That's pretty awesome." Spiketail finally concluded,

Moonheart flipped out, "AWWW! My babies are ruthless little thus~"

"Really, he must have really wimped out after the first series."

"Lets get out of this dump. It smells like villain-failure."

And this that, my friends,

All was well again.


End file.
